Our War Game
Comparison by Dario Speedwagon
Dario’s Notes: Welcome to Digimon: The Catastrophe. The first Digimon movie was an extensively butchered amalgamation of the first three Digimon movies, linked together by made-up plot threads that didn’t exist in the Japanese version because Fox wanted to capitalize on the success of the first Pokémon movie.
This movie was lumped into what is commonly known in the Digimon world as simply “The Catastrophe”. It’s a great film chopped up into little pieces and fed to the dogs by Saban, and I had a day off work so I reviewed it for you. AREN’T I
The plot revolves around a mysterious digimon hatching and starting to chow down on data on the Internet. Our Chosen Children and their digimon try to stop it, but they have some trouble when it evolves into Diablomon and starts multiplying and launching missiles. Fortunately, WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon Jogress evolve into Omegamon and kill Diablomon and nobody has to die. Except the cake Taichi’s mum was trying to make. D: Poor cake.
The Catastrophe, in its entirety, was adapted and written by everyone’s favourite Jeff Nimoy and Bob Buccholz. They also did the voice direction.
This review was done through the magic of YouTube! The reason the screen captures change format towards the end of the comparison is because I had to switch between YouTube videos to review the whole movie. The videos I used are the raw, two dubbed versions and a downloaded avi of the dub movie, and one subtitled version because it had higher audio quality than the raw I used. My translations don’t always match the subtitles since I interpret the Japanese-to-English differently sometimes. [Update 08-12-2007: The videos have since been removed.]
They moved entire first scene where Taichi is writing an apology e-mail to Sora and gets caught by Hikari to after Koushiro finds the Digitama.
Kari’s narration is ALL stupid. ALL OF IT. EVERY. SINGLE. SYLLABLE.
Izzy: Prodigious! Computer virus on the Internet!
Computer virus? On MY Internet?!
Koushiro: What… is this?
Izzy: Wow… it’s attacking something… let me see if I can get an image of its target!
Uh… no… just no.
Koushiro: … A digimon?
Izzy: Looks like… a digiegg! Where’d that come from?! Wow! The virus is causing the egg to develop abnormally fast! I think it’s gonna hatch!
Izzy, who the HELL are you talking to? And why are you lying to them? You need therapy, kid.
Nothing, because Kuramon and his evolutions NEVER speak.
Kuramon (VO): Hello!
Seriously, Kuramon and his evolutions only communicate through text. Otherwise, they only giggle.
Taichi: To Sora. I’m sorry about the other day. Don’t be hurt. Yagami Taichi. (he’s speaking one character at a time as he’s typing)
Tai: ‘Dear Sora, I’m sorry about what happened. I haven’t felt this bad since I “accidentally” threw up in your hat and didn’t tell you about it before you put it on.’
The quotes were added by me, but I’m sure that’s what he meant. Besides, nobody probably even noticed.
Tai: ‘I know our relationship has been a little stormy lately… you say you love thunder-showers so what’s a few raindrops between friends? Love, Tai.’ “Love”?! I mean “from”!
If only there were some sort of keyboard key that could erase the previous character in a sequence… some sort of back space…
(0:04) Taichi notices his name came up with the wrong kanji as he was typing. He goes through a few characters to find the correct kanji.
In the original version, when he turns around, Taichi accidentally puts a little heart next to his name. In the dub, Tai has a magical word replacement function that changes “From” to “Love”.
[Added 09 March 2008: Macho Duck here. Kazuo Ichigama writes in to point out something thought-provoking:
“Is it just me, or am I sensing a form of product placement when Kari says she’s “getting her [friend] a Pink Power Ranger” for her birthday? [Of course, we all know that Saban was responsible for the American conversion of Power Rangers from their Super Sentai counterparts in the early and late 1990s].”
Indeed, Saban distributes the Power Ranger franchise in North America [Update 2020: they did at the time]. While product placement isn’t a big deal since it occurs in both American and Japanese films, it deserves a mention. The important thing here, however, is that the moment Kari mentioned it was a Pink Power Ranger, Tai tried to take it from her. That, gentlemen, is brilliance and hilarity. Props to Nimoy and Buccholz for the nice visual joke to go behind Kari’s insipid narration.]
(As Taichi is trying to grab the gift from Hikari)
Taichi: Give me! (Kui!)
Hikari: No! (Dame!)
Taichi: Give me!
Taichi: Give me!
Kari: My brother and I had a give-and-take relationship. I would give and he would take!
He was certainly “taking” in the first season when he risked his arse to get you a bottle of medicine when you fell sick. That conniving little bastard.
Originally, Hikari wanted to know whom he was writing to and Taichi said it didn’t matter. In the dub, Kari asks why he wrote it if he wasn’t going to send it (I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Kari, but your brother isn’t the smartest duck in the pond). Kari was also much more of a smug little bitch than Hikari has ever been in her entire existence.
(0:08) Hikari exits the house to go to the party and Taichi’s awesome little mail dinosaurs shows up on the screen reporting that the e-mail couldn’t be delivered.
Why the FUCK is there a Barenaked Ladies song playing in a Digimon Adventure movie? Originally, Butter-Fly played during the scenes where “One Week” is playing in the dubbed movie and during some opening credits. Butter-fly being… you know… the theme song.
You also don’t hear any dialogue/monologue while Butter-fly is playing.
Something I’d forgotten to mention when I’d first compared the episode was the Japanese title card for this movie.
The kana in the title card reads “Bokura no War Game”, meaning “Our War Game”, whereas the English reads “Children’s War Game”. “Our War Game” is most commonly accepted as the movie’s English title since “bokura no” definitely translates to “our”. “Boku” is a masculine and informal way of saying “I” or “me” and “ra” is added to the end of it to make it “us” or “we” (“tachi” is the more polite form of “ra”; for example, in Japanese the Chosen Children are called “erabareshii kodomotachi). The particle “no” indicates possession, making “bokura no” “our”.
None of the kanji for “child” or “children” are pronounced “boku”, but there is a possibility that at the time this movie was made, “boku” was used primarily by children or younger males. If this is the case, then it may contribute to why the title was written as “Children’s War Game” in the Japanese title card.
It’s a fucking NAMEPLATE. It says “Tachikawa” on top and “Keichimura”, “Satoe”, and “Mimi” below. IT’S A FUCKING NAMEPLATE, NOT A LOVE… WHATEVER-THE-HELL FROM JOE.
It’s the deadly combination of Tai and Izzy. You know this is going to be awful…
The egg conversation was a lot funnier in the original.
Taichi: What’s with this guy? He looks like a jellyfish, doesn’t he?
Koushiro: From the looks of it, he’s a new Digimon.
Taichi: He’s pretty cute.
Izzy: The Digimon Analyser doesn’t even recognise it!
Tai: Looks like a cross between a jelly fish and a contact lens.
Izzy: I think it’s part-Digimon, part-virus.
I think you’ve forgotten that Digimon often DO have the attribute of “virus”; i.e. those that do ARE viruses. Either that or you’re propogating your lie.
Koushiro doesn’t mention Willis (or Wallace, as he would be named in the Japanese version). He does mention that his e-mail friend is a primary school student taking college classes, though. He also doesn’t mention that his friend is in Colorado, USA (because he isn’t; it’s another one of Izzy’s lies).
…………. Tai must have caught the disease that causes Izzy to lie compulsively, because he tells Izzy he’s in Junior High. Why would he tell that to Izzy, though? Izzy knows him well enough to see through his lie and know that he’s still in primary school.
Taichi: Haa? He’s hungry? (also: “His stomach’s empty?”)
Tai: Am I supposed to call for a pizza?
Where Tai was saying, “What is he expecting to find, a grocery store?!”, Koushiro was telling us something slightly important that, of course, could be thrown away in lieu of Tai’s joke. Koushiro was telling Taichi that as Tsumemon eats data, he gets bigger, and eventually he’ll evolve and eat data from networks.
Grocery store clerk: Welcome… it’s one hundred twenty-five yen– ah? Ones, tens, thousands, ten-thousands, hundred-thousands, millions… It’s one million one hundred twenty-five yen.”
Grocery store ditz: “Okay, that’s one box of chocolate. Your total comes to one million one hundred– HUH? … Yeah, that’s what it says! That must be really good chocolate. Paper or plastic?”
Then the guy made some weird noise.
(0:15) They cut a scene-changer with some bar codes and a scene with a woman at a grocery store picking up packages of tuna and mackerel and finding them priced at one million yen each (one million yen is about eight thousand three hundred US dollars; and no, tuna and mackerel do not typically cost that much in Japan). It then cuts to the lines at the grocery store, then to the news program.
Taichi’s mum: Taichi, I’m coming in.
Tai’s mum: Tai, I made beef jerky shakes!
It was chilled Oolong tea.
Taichi was wondering how to get the computer down, not worried about being careful with anything. And I am extremely impressed that a ten-year-old-at-oldest could lift a CRT monitor that big unassisted. Nice job, Koushiro.
Taichi: Can’t we tell the phone company or a computer specialist?
Koushiro: That would be useless, wouldn’t it?
Tai: If this thing is so dangerous, maybe we should call someone important. Like the Principal or Bill Gates or someone…”
Izzy: They won’t listen!
Wow. Koushiro didn’t even give a real reason and his explanation still made more sense.
Koushiro: The e-mail friend I told you about told some specialists about it, but they wouldn’t listen to him.
Izzy: That kid Willis warned his Internet carrier about the new Digimon. They said, “Great! Let’s sign him up and give him fifty free hours!”
KERAMON NEVER TALKS KERAMON NEVER TALKS KERAMON NEVER SODDING TALKS oh Jinnai I’m going to cry……
Keramon: “My name is Keramon!”
*between sobs* I wanna kill myself. T3T
Koushiro: We have to defeat it now.
Izzy: He’s probably at a fast food website!
Taichi: Are we just supposed to stand by and watch it evolve?
Tai: You mean we have to sit here and watch that thing eat the world out of house and homepage?!
Agumon only says “Taichi” until he appears on the screen.
Agumon: Taichi… we’ll fight!
Agumon: The evil Dark Masters were cupcakes compared to this guy!
The original speech from the Digimon was saying that they’ll enter the Internet and help the Real World the same way the Chosen Children helped the Digital World. The friendship stuff in the dub? It ended up in Sora’s hat.
Gennai: All right! I’ll send the digimon over the net now, so just wait.
Gennai: It’ll take a minute for Agumon and Tentomon to get on the net. My modem’s older than I am!
just Jou at his test
Tai: A test?! He’s the only kid I know who volunteers for summer school!
He’s at it with the compulsive lies again. Jou is taking a middle school entrance exam.
(0:05) A scene of Jou running to his exam (he was late because the doors of his train didn’t open for him).
Taichi’s mum: Koushiro-kun, would you like some Oolong tea?
Tai’s mum: Would you like a glass of potato juice, Izzy?
For Jinnai’s sake, lady, stop seeing what kind of weird things that kid will drink just because you ask him to. Creepy tart…
Taichi’s mum: Koushiro-kun, are you going anywhere for spring break?
Tai’s mum: You know, Izzy, I can never get Tai to try any of my recipes.
Because you’re a FREAK.
Taichi’s mum: Don’t you feel like getting out?
Tai’s mum: Want to try my spinach cookies?
Mimi’s ridiculously short available message length in the dub was hilarious. XD
The dialogue out of Tai’s mum and Izzy’s mouths is all stupid while Tai is asking if Kari has her mobile phone.
That’s one HUGE fucking “cell phone”. Didn’t even see her carrying the damn thing out of the house. Why, it almost looks like a landline phone of the house she’s in…
Hikari: I can’t come home yet. She hasn’t even blown out the candles on her birthday cake yet.
Kari: You don’t understand; the magician’s coming over later and I have already volunteered to be sawed in half!
Something we can all look forward to…
They made another “three-bean-salad-oh-shit-I-only-have-two-beans” joke. Is this a frequent dilemma of the writing staff?
In the original, Taichi insisted that he and Sora didn’t have a fight and asks if it’s about time (to check on Agumon and Tentomon). Sora’s monologue in the dub before “Stupid Tai” is all… well, stupid.
(0:16) A scene of few kids in a ferris wheel cabin as the ferris wheel starts spinning faster. Taichi’s mum is watching it from the doorway.
The speech software that the freaking cat magically programmed into Windows: Thank you for visiting “Meow”.com!
Tentomon: Does this Information Superhighway have a rest stop? I’ve got to go potty!
Agumon: You should have gone before we left! Just hold it!
I’m going to take the writers’ word for it and just accept that that was, in fact, necessary.
Izzy says his password to get on the Internet is “prodigious”. That’s not even worth my commenting on. In the original, he doesn’t mention the bloody password; he says they can perform a preemptive attack because Keramon doesn’t know they’re there.
Agumon: So this is what the Internet looks like! … They need new wallpaper!
Tentomon: I hope this doesn’t take too long; it’s my bath night!
Well, at least he apparently isn’t too concerned about using the toilet anymo– oh, EW!
In the original, Tentomon and Agumon said their evolution lines at the same time.
Keramon names his attack in the dub “Bug Blaster”. In the original, he doesn’t say anything while he uses it (or EVER; he only makes a few sounds), but the attack’s name is Crazy Giggle.
Keramon has a STUPENDOUSLY bad voice. For real, would you even expect a voice that gruff to come out of him? I’d expect something high-pitched and childish (as his Japanese voice sounds).
Keramon digivolve to… Infermon!”
Four words I would have never wanted to hear come out of one of my favourite digimon’s mouth… His dub voice is really awful.
Infermon growls, laughs, grunts, and otherwise makes a lot of noises that he should not be in the dub. He calls his attack “Spider Shooter” in the dub (the true name is Hell’s Grenade but it isn’t spoken in the Japanese version).
I don’t think I need to further specify that any time Infermon speaks, it’s WRONG.
Agumon: Sorry, Taichi…
Tentomon: That guy’s unbelievable…
Agumon: Don’t take me out, couch!
Tentomon: I’m fine. Just one question: who’s Tentomon?
Agumon’s voice reminds me of that old Christmas claymation film about Rudolph the Ren-Nosed Reindeer. It reminds me of the Jack-in-the-Box-like toy on the Island for Misfit Toys…
Taichi originally complained that Infermon attacked while Kabuterimon and Greymon were evolving. In the dub, he complains that the two “Champion”-level Digimon weren’t enough.
Who the HELL in the studio has such a hard-on for freaking Willis? THERE IS NO WILLIS (Wallace) IN THIS FILM.
(0:05) Another e-mail, this time from someone in Singapore, was cut. The girl just mused on the fact that the fight was two-on-one and they still lost.
Infermon’s e-mail was edited but the message was just translated.
(0:23) Taichi calls the house that Hikari’s party is at. She says she can’t leave because she’s playing Old Maid and winning.
The busy signal has a voice-over saying, “All circuits are busy. Try again later,” added to it. As he keeps calling, the voice over goes, “All circuits are STILL busy!” and “DID YOU HEAR ME? IT’S BUSY!” Pre-recorded bitch…
Voice on the line: Hello hello hello hello…. (moshimoshimoshimoshimoshimoshimoshimoshi…)
Infermon: Hello… did you program me? (he cackles)
The voice on the line in the original wasn’t even Infermon’s. It was from one of those programs that you can type into to allow it to speak.
The people aren’t heard saying “hello” in the original.
Taichi: What’s going on?!
Koushiro: This guy hacked the phone switches and is making all the calls. He’s trying to bring the system down.
Kari (narrating): Talk about speed-dialing! Infermon was looking for someone. He was calling every phone number in the world!
What? No he wasn’t! He just wants to chill out and eat data; he isn’t looking for anyone!
Taichi: We won’t be able to call the others and the Internet will…
Tai: His long distance bill will be enormous!
The shot of the microwave is zoomed-in so we can’t see the timer.
Because, you know, if kids see microwave timers, they’ll kill themselves.
News announcer: Now, some breaking news… Phone systems throughout Tokyo are experiencing dificulties…
Taichi’s mum: A lot is going on today…
News announcer: Phones have gone dead worldwide! If your phone is dead, please call your phone company.
Tai’s mum: Well, at least my sister can’t call me three times a day.
Always optimistic, that one.
Kari’s narration is unnecessary because we see them doing it in a few minutes. Shut up, Kari. This isn’t your movie!
(0:04) A scene of a crosswalk with a voice-over of Taichi leaving a message for Jou.
The Yagami’s name plate is changed to say “Kamiya”.
Mimi’s creepy post card narration was stupid. And frightening. Originally, she just said Hawaii is really nice.
Koushiro originally just said they’re bypassing the NTT switch through the satellite cell phone by accessing a foreign access point. He did not say they’d be tapping into the military satellite system.
Taichi: Can we use it to call Yamato and the others?
Koushiro: No; local calls still go through the switches.
Tai: How does it work?
Izzy: Well, do you know what a semiconductor is?
Tai: A guy who works part-time on a train?
Well, that was pretty clever of Izzy to throw in a word Tai didn’t understand so he could dodge the question and masque the fact that he’s a fucking liar.
The only thing semiconductors have to do with connectivity to the Internet or a phone network is that they made up the parts inside the phones themselves.
(0:21) Before we see Yamato and Takeru running out of the house, we cut back to Taichi and Koushiro listening to their message that their grandmother doesn’t have a computer.
Izzy: He’s in America!
Tai: He doesn’t even have a green card!
How do you know?
(0:38) A long cut of Yamato and Takeru going through Shimane talking to various people trying to find a computer that connects to the Internet. They find a shop with a computer, but a woman in the shop says it doesn’t connect to the Internet and Takeru starts crying. Her male companion (he’s called Shou-chan) feels sorry for them, which is why he’s riding with them on his bike/moped/scooter-thing.
Yamato: Where are we going?
Shou-chan: Leave it to me!
Matt: Slow down! I said slow down!
Random, clearly dangerous stranger Matt and T.K. decided to hitch a ride with: I can’t hear you!
Koushiro: Even though he’s an Perfect-level digimon, he’s still a child…
Izzy: Now the digimon’s in New York. He’s eaten all the data in Kennedy Aeroport and he’s heading for the subway system!
Thank you, Izzy. Your useless observations only covered up an important character point regarding Our Villain, but it is nice to know that New York is screwed.
Koushiro: There will be some adults who realise this isn’t an ordinary computer problem. I doubt they’ll know that this digimon is the cause of it, though.
Izzy: I’d better e-mail Willis and let him know that the Digimon is headed in his direction. I do have one question, though: what would that Digimon have been like if the virus had never attacked him?
The same. Do you know why? It’s because he WASN’T attacked by a sodding virus.
Taichi: What do we do now?
Koushiro: We’ll have Agumon and the others fight.
Tai: And why are you still drinking that junk?!
Izzy: Look, just because you don’t like to eat healthy doesn’t mean I don’t!
Tai: Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
The conversations in the barber shop in the dub were stupid. The barber was wondering why he had to let them use his computer, Shou-chan yelled at him to just let them use it, and the old couple recognised them and said that Tokyo kids are trendy.
The continued references to Izzy drinking gross things are all stupid.
he doesn’t say anything
Patamon: I was surfing the net and I wiped out!
Patamon: Is T.K. on this ride?
Gabumon: He’s not tall enough.
Tentomon: Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times!
you know the drill
Infermon: I’m looking for the programmer! Don’t interfere!
Great. Infermon believed all of Izzy’s lies and now he’s delusional. Way to go, Izzy.
“Infermon digivolve to… Diaboromon!”
Because nobody will draw the connection between Diablo and Diaboro!
Diaboromon names his attacks. Being that he never speaks in the original — and I will say that as many times as I need to until I get bored with it — they go unnamed.
Koushiro had to pee because he drank too much Oolong tea. Izzy was apparently quite sick from Tai’s mum’s recipe.
I don’t know why they changed Koushiro’s bathroom reference considering Tentomon was talking about having to go potty earlier in the movie and nobody seemed to mind…
Something cool they did with Brave Heart in the original: while Agumon and Gabumon evolved, Brave Heart played up until Patamon was pinned by Diablomon. Brave Heart starts up again when WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon resume attacking. When Taichi’s computer gets ready to freeze, the line “show me your brave heart” is skipping over and over again.
The kid in the e-mail couldn’t have possibly know that they were digimon, let alone what level they were. Aside from that, they aren’t adult-level (“Champion” in the dub); WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon are ultimate-level (“Mega” in the dub).
a chirping sound like a giggle
Diaboromon: Go back to the beginning…
Go back to not talking.
Diablomon’s e-mail is changed from making sense to… well…
Tai: Huh? Is he giving us a math test?
Sure, Tai. Sure.
There was only one missile in the original. Originally, Koushiro and Taichi were shocked that it was travelling at Mach 23. In the dub, the second missile is headed straight for their neighborhood.
Izzy’s mention of an e-mail from his mum was stupid…
(0:18) A scene of Yamato and Takeru back at the barber shop. The old lady asks him to take something to Kinu-san (his grandmother, I’m guessing), but he isn’t paying attention. You know, missile and all.
Koushiro discovers that only one of Diablomon’s copies has the clock with the missile’s fuse. If they defeat that one, the missile won’t explode.
Izzy says if they defeat the original Diaboromon, the rest will disappear. He also says that there are over 75,000 Diaboromon. I guess he counted them all.
Izzy: What’s that? Doesn’t sound like my stomach.
Koushiro: Everyone… I’ll send you the address now!
Izzy: They’re so slow… It’s because of all the e-mails! They’re slowing down our digimon’s processing speed! I’ve got to write to everyone and tell them to stop e-mailing us until our digimon are back to full strength!
Tai: Are you crazy, Izzy?! Do you know how long that’ll take?
Good to see that Tai is beginning to see through Izzy’s lies and delusions.
Taichi’s mum and the proctor at Jou’s exam both say there’s seven more minutes left (they match the time left until the missile impact).
THE VOMITING MUSIC~! I thought I’d never hear it again!
No special song in the original. Just a determined composition. During this scene, Koushiro reads off some encouraging e-mails he’s gotten from around the world.
There’s weren’t a million Diablomon copies; Koushiro’s last count was 16,000.
NOW the e-mails are slowing the connection down.
Taichi doesn’t say anything while he’s going into the computer screen, we just hear his breathing. Tai never shuts up.
Tai’s mum tried to gets Izzy to drink something weird again and Izzy finally refuses and the starts spouting technobabble to confuse her.
Kari: None of us are sure how, but Tai’s bond with WarGreymon was so strong, Tai himself became digital!
We would have never figured that out if not for you, Kari.
Of course, the REALLY PRETTY song that plays while MetalGarurumon and WarGreymon wake up and Jogress evolve into Omegamon wasn’t matched in the dub. The song they played wasn’t that bad, though.
There was a lot of added dialogue as Omnimon evolved. It wasn’t too bad, though. It mostly just explained what happened and gave Omnimon’s name.
Omnimon names his… taking out his sword… “Transcended Sword”… Okay… He also names his attack “Supreme Canon”.
And now we have the “Let’s Kick It Up” song in the dub…
The was no voice over in the original when you see the missile’s smoke trail crossing the aeroplane’s smoke trail.
Takeru: Oniichan! Hurry! Find him! There’s no more time! Oniichan! Hurry!
Tai: He keeps moving! Every time we get him in our sights, he jumps somewhere else! He’s too fast for us!
Koushiro: There’s no time… Even if we have the power, it’s no use if we can’t catch him!
Izzy: We have the power to destroy him now but we don’t have the time! Willis was right; we have to find someone to slow down Diaboromon!
Izzy: You’ve… got… MAIL..!
The countdown was done by Koushiro in the original.
he’s just panting
Izzy: I’m… about… to barf…
[Update 25 July 2009]
(After Sora receives the e-mail, we cut to Koushiro thinking they didn’t make it in time, then it cuts to Diablomon with Omegamon’s sword in his head. His head falls off and reveals the clock they needed to destroy. In the dubbed movie, this scene was moved to after Omnimon stabbed Diaboromon.
Diaboromon also makes another reference to Willis. Go away, Willis! No one likes you.
This update/edit brought to you by: NicholasOnimura! Thanks!
Taichi’s e-mail was altered, of course.
When it focuses on Taichi’s name with the heart next to it, it focuses on the “Love, Tai” in the dub.
The ending credits were cut because this movie was combined with Digimon Adventure and Hurricane Touchdown for the American release. The credits were mostly shots of the characters and the children who’d been watching the fight around the world played on the computer. When it’s done, we see the operating system go to shut down.
One of the last ones is an e-mail to Taichi from Sora:
It then shows a picture of her wearing the hairclip.