Two Ultimate Evolutions! Beat the Darkness (JP)
The Battle for Earth (EN)
JP: Atsushi MAEKAWA
EN: Mark Ryan and “Jeff Nimoy & Bob Buchholz”
JP: December 5, 1999
EN: February 19, 2000
LAST TIME, ON DIGIMON UNCENSORED:
Angewomon: “A miracle!”
Angemon: “One miracle…”
Angewomon: “Coming up!”
IT WAS TENTOM–
AND NOW: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!
… DAMNIT, TENTOMON!
Narrator: “Even after defeating Vamdemon, Odaiba’s great fog did not clear. Gennai sent a puzzling message. One by one, it came true. Then finally, Vamdemon was revived from the edge of death and became VenomVamdemon. With this abyssal power-up, Taichi and the others couldn’t come close to VenomVamdemon. However, when the last part of the message became reality, Agumon and Gabumon somehow evolved into their Ultimate Level forms.”
Tai: “Jennai came up with this weird prophecy that sounded like total mumbo-jumbo, but then it all started coming true! Bats appeared in the sky, my mom and dad and everybody started acting like zombies and chanting Myotismon’s name. And then Myotismon himself came back, bigger and better than ever! Finally, we figured out that Matt and I had to let ourselves get zapped with arrows of light in order for Agumon and Gabumon to digivolve to their Mega-level! I told you it was weird!”
… That is pretty weird!
Narrator: “WarGreymon: an Ultimate-level Digimon that warp-evolves from Agumon. His special attack gathers the atmosphere into a ball held in his hands: Gaia Force.”
Izzy: “Izzy: It’s WarGreymon! It says here his attack is Terra Force – gathering the energy around him and focusing it in the palm of his hand!”
Why they changed Gaia Force to Terra Force, we will never know. Maybe it sounded too much like “Guy Force”, and they were worried someone named Guy Force would sue. Tara Force could not be reached for comment.
Narrator: “MetalGarurumon: an Ultimate-level Digimon that warp-evolves from Gabumon. His special attack draws upon abyssal power to freeze his enemies before smashing them: Cocytus Breath!”
Izzy: “And MetalGarurumon has his Metal Wolfclaw attack. He shoots a powerful cold blast at his enemies, then blows them to pieces!”
Cocytus Breath‘s change to “Metal Wolfclaw” is a little easier to explain, except for the whole “it’s… not a claw thing…”, because Cocytus is the ninth circle of Hell in Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy. It’s named after the wailing river in Greek mythology’s underworld.
[Looking up at the two new Ultimates]
Tentomon: “Somehow, I feel a lot less significant…”
Yamato: “Yeah… that’s right…”
Tentomon: “That’s great, ’cause we’ll need them to beat VenomMyotismon!”
Matt: “Yeah, that’s for sure!”
Tentomon: “Good luck! I’ll wait here.”
Oh, come on! That original bit was good!
[WarGreymon knocks VenomVamdemon down. The team pursues them in Papa Ishida’s van]
Taichi: “Go, WarGreymon!”
Hikari: “You’re so strong!”
[MetalGarurumon freezes him with missiles]
Izzy: “Way to go WarGreymon! You creamed him…I think…”
Tai: “Look, there they go! Get after him, WarGreymon!”
Kari: “Put his lights out!”
MetalGarurumon: *attacks with the wrong name* “Ice Wolfclaw!”
Mon, Kari is suprisingly violent in the dub…
VenomVamdemon: “Now you’ve done it!”
VenomMyotismon: “Your miserable attempts to destroy me have failed! Now you will pay!”
VenomVamdemon’s laser eyes attack, Venom Infuse, is not named in the dub.
Papa Ishida’s van has been toppled or flipped twice and not only is it still totally fine, all of its passengers are totally fine!
They don’t make ’em like they used to!
[Shin joins up with Jou et al at Big Sight to report no change to the adults’ condition]
Gomamon: “We’ll have to completely beat Vamdemon if we want them to turn back to normal!”
Mimi: “My Papa and Mama… I want to beat Vamdemon!”
Palmon: “Mimi! I can still fight!”
Gomamon: “All right, I’m tired of fooling around! We have to defeat Myotismon once and for all!”
Mimi: “Our parents always protected us. Now it’s time we came through for them!”
Palmon: “Mimi, if we do it together, we can beat him!”
Mimi: “Think so?”
Piyomon: “Sora!” *nods*
Biyomon: “I’ll try.”
Sora: “You will?”
Eh… I mean, Yeah, mm-hmm!”
Listed because you really don’t have to turn every nonverbal exchange into something asinine.
Jou: “You guys…”
Gomamon: “‘Let’s go, Gomamon!'” *jumps up on Jou’s shoulders* “Why am I not hearing those words?”
Jou: “… All right! Let’s go, Gomamon!”
Gomamon: “You got it!”
Sora: “Please…” *bows* “Please take care of my mother!”
Mimi: “My Papa and Mama, too!”
Joe: “We already tried.”
Gomamon: “So we’ll keep on trying, Joe! Because Digimon never give up.” *jumps up on Joe’s head* “Like they always say: all for ‘mon and ‘mon for all!”
Joe: “…” *laugh* “You’re right! We can do it! Let’s get ’em, guys!” *runs off screaming like a fool*
Sora: “You’ll have to excuse Joe.” *bows* “He’s a little hyperactive.” *runs off screaming, but less enthusiastically*
Mimi: “Please take care of our parents, Jim!”
That’s Joe’s brother, Sora. He knows…
[VenomVamdemon is kicking heiney now]
Takeru: *running around the chaos looking for…* “Big brother!!”
T.K.: *running around the chaos* “Get him, Angemon!”
*Angemon gets smacked into a wall*
No, not like that…
[Koushirou and Tentomon rush to the battlefield. Tentomon spots Ikkakumon, Togemon, and Birdramon charging into battle!]
Tentomon: “Everyone’s here!”
Togemon: “Vamdemon! We’ll take you on!”
Tentomon: “I’m goin’ in, too!”
Tentomon: “Look, Izzy! All the others have Digivolved, too! There’s Ikkakumon, and Togemon, and Birdramon! I’m goin’ in!”
He knows their names, Tentomon…
[Everyone, attack at the same time!]
Togemon: “Prickly Bang Bang!”
Togemon: “Okay! How ’bout a little Needle Spray?!”
Okay, maybe just a littl– OW THAT’S TOO MUCH!
Now for more attack name changes: MetalGarurumon’s Freeze Bomber is mistaken for Metal Wolfclaw, and WarGreymon’s Brave Tornado is mistaken for Mega Claw, despite neither of those things being claw-related.
[The attacks have literally torn VenomVamdemon a new one right in his crotch, and now there’s a little guy living there…]
VenomMyotismon: “You think you can defeat me? You’ve only awakened ‘the beast within’!”
Why was the beast within your crotch?
VenomVamdemon: “I will devour all of you!”
VenomMyotismon: “Now, to devour all you so-called Digidestined! You’ve stood in my way for the last time!”
Just walk around them…
(all internal monologues)
Mimi: “It can’t end like this…”
Matt: “I’ve let everyone down again…”
Sora: “I wish I could’ve done more…”
Izzy: “It’s impossible he survived that!” (HE’S RIGHT THERE, DUDE)
Joe: “Maybe we should surrender.”
T.K.: “This is scarier than the movies!”
Tai: “I will never give up!”
Only Kari had the decency to read the script and not try to mentally ad-lib.
[Now everybody’s Crests are glowing]
Tai: “Huh? My Crest!”
Tai: “Everybody, look at your Crests! They’re all starting to glow!”
[The Crest glowies ensnare VenomVamdemon]
VenomVamdemon: “Release me, wretched Chosen Children!”
Taichi: “It talked..! I get it! That monster must be Vamdemon’s actual form!”
VenomMyotismon: “Curse you Digi-destined! Curse you and your lousy Crests! Let go! Let go!”
Tai: “Look at that! Mega-freaky! I wonder if that monster represents Myotismon’s actual form…”
“This whole time, we should have been hitting him in the crotch, not above it!”
VenomVamdemon’s crotch’s voice is actually kind of cute in the original. Not so much in the dub.
[WarGreymon shot the Fuji TV ball-building thing into VenomVamdemon’s crotch so hard that he died. Now everyone has reverted, and a new Digimon has appeared]
Mimi: “Huh? Who are you?”
Plotmon: “I’m Plotmon. Nice to meet you.”
Mimi: “Hey, look! A stray Digimon!”
Stray Digimon: “Don’t you recognise me? I was Gatomon. What do I have to do – cough up a furball?”
It would help.
Narrator: “Plotmon: a Child Digimon with long, floppy ears. She is the Child form of Tailmon. Her special attack is Puppy Howling.”
Kari: “That’s Salamon, the Rookie form of Gatomon. Isn’t she cute? Much more cuddly than her Ultimate form of Angewomon.”
Plotmon is adorable.
Hikari: “Tailmon must have used up all of her energy helping Agumon and Gabumon become their Ultimate Levels and reverted to her Child form.”
Kari: “But I guess she’s back to being a Rookie because she used up all her energy during the fight. What are we gonna do? They don’t allow pets in our apartment!”
The Grand Empress did not agree to these terms, therefore they do not apply to her.
[Now the sky is all band-y and landmass-y.]
Jou: “Th-this kind of thing…”
Hikari: *clings to Taichi* “Big brother, I’m scared!”
Taichi: “Wha… What is this…?”
Narrator: “Upside-down continents suddenly appeared in skies seen throughout the entire world.”
Joe: “That’s…not possible! There’s a giant island floating in the sky…upside down!”
Tai: “Things just keep getting weirder!”
Some weather we’re having, eh?
It’s probably fine.
[The sky is everywhere!]
Tai: “Man, why does this have to happen now when we were just feeling good about beating Myotismon?!”
Answered your own question there a little…
Tai: “It’s like the world is turning upside-down or something!”
Daddy Yagami: “Is that a mirage?”
Shin: “No, it’s not like what you see in the desert.”
Daddy Kamiya: “Hey, what’s going on?”
Jim: “Whatever it is, it doesn’t look too good for our side!”
Oh, whatever. You learned about your “side” like thirty minutes ago.
[Taichi’s mum wants to know where her kids are]
Shin: “They’re all at the Fuji TV station. I’ll go check it out, and I’ll meet back with you after!”
Jim: “No, but I have an educated guess. I’m going to search where the monsters were fighting! I’ll come back when I find ’em, okay?”
… Wait, how did Shin know where they were?
[People see the sky.]
Narrator: “Mysterious continents floated eerily in the night sky. Yet, strangely, neither radars, Earth’s satellites, nor other electronic equipment recognized them.”
Izzy: “This isn’t making any sense! It looks like an entire upside-down continent in the sky. But it doesn’t show up on radar, or on any satellite pictures. In fact, no instruments of any kind can confirm that whatever it is is really even there!”
Oh, how would you know? It JUST appeared, and for all you know, nobody’s published the data yet. Impatient little wanker.
T.K.’s mum pronounces “T.K.” like “T.K.” as she searches for him – with the emphasis on the ‘K’. Makes me wonder how many hilarious misunderstandings she went through with people mishearing what she was shouting.
“No, I’m looking for my son, T.K.!”
“T-Pain? The rapper?”
“No – T.K.! He’s a little boy!”
“T-Bay? Tokyo Bay? It’s right over there.”
Her name is Natsuko in the original and Nancy in the dub.
[One plane heads on up to check out the continents]
Narrator: “Could the strange continents be an illusion to humans? To find out, an American reconnaissance plane headed toward the continents.”
Plane: *pokes the sky and turns into stone*
Pilot of plane (over radio): “Nooo!”
Izzy: “Check this out, guys! I’ve been monitoring the news reports. The Air Force is sending in everything they’ve got
in one plane to figure out what this continent in the sky really is. They don’t know anything so far, but they’re assuming it’s dangerous.”
Plane: *poke and stone*
Pilot (over radio): “
Why did we pack everything we’ve got into this one plane?! This is Hawkeye 1 – mayday, mayday, mayday!”
That was your fault somehow, Izzy.
[Back on the ground, Mimi, Jou, and Sora are watching Takeru, Yamato, and Koushirou reunite with their families]
Mimi: “I hope my Mama and Papa are all right…”
Sora: “I’m sure they are…”
Palmon: “Someone’s coming!”
Mimi: “I have to admit that I’m a little jealous that Matt and TK found their parents, and Izzy too! I just hope my mom and dad are all right.”
Sora: “I know how you feel. Me, too… Huh? Someone’s coming!”
Jou: “That’s… Shin!”
Mimi: “Big brother!”*
Joe: “All right, my brother! Hey, I didn’t tell him he could ride my scooter!”
Welcome to having older siblings, Joe.
*It’s normal for children and teenagers in Japan to refer to older friends as “big brother/sister”. Adults out of college usually get bumped up to “uncle/aunt”, and elderly folks get “grandpa/grandma”.
Yes, it’s Shin’s moped. Jou’s not even old enough to ride it.
The news reporter’s… uh… report is mostly the same in both versions, but the original reporter is wondering if the sky-continent is a permanent new addition, and the dub reporter claims it’s been found to be very dangerous after “several confrontations”. Stop trying to fight the sky, America!
[Yamato postulates that the sky is more of Vamdemon’s handiwork]
Tsunomon: “It’s not that! This time, we beat Vamdemon for good!”
Koromon: “Yeah! There’s no doubt about it!”
Tsunomon: “But that’s impossible, isn’t it? We defeated Myotismon for good this time!”
Koromon: “Yeah! We kicked booty!”
That is not where your attack landed, Koromon.
Izzy’s line asking Tai to check out the mountain with his telescope is the same, but Izzy phrases it, “get a closer peek at that peak right there!”
[Taichi found something!]
Taichi: “A plane! An plane is up there!”
Tai: “What I found is a jetliner!”
… I mean, he’s technically correct…
[Aboard the plane]
Pilot: “Control tower, come in! Control tower! Damn it, what’s going on?”
Co-pilot: “Anyway, we have to make an emergency landing. We’re already out of fuel.”
Pilot: “Ground control, this is flight 224. We have lost our vector, over. Strange, why don’t they answer? This is 224 to ground control. Control, do you copy? Repeat: we have lost our landing vector. Come in, ground control!”
Co-Pilot: “We can’t land here now, and we can’t turn back with the fuel we have left on board!”
Why is the fuel on board?! It’s supposed to be in the fuel tank!
Pilot: “I know that!”
THEN WHY– oh, sorry, wrong Pilot…
Pilot: “If only we had a guide to a runway…”
Co-pilot: “We can’t determine if we’re clear to land in Tokyo! With these circumstances, we’re better off at a U.S. military base…” *alarm*
Pilot: “Wh-What’s happening?!”
Co-pilot: “The gauge is at empty! We can’t fly anymore! At this rate, we’ll crash!”
Pilot: “What? The alarm! All systems failure! We’ve got about two seconds to figure out what’s wrong here!”
Co-pilot: “No use, nothing’s responding! We’re going down!”
It’s a shame that in both versions, the aircraft is being piloted by two dudes on their first day after faking their way through flight school. Planes glide after the fuel runs out; that’s what the wings are for. Whatever these two did, they fucked it up big time!
[Taichi is watching these idiots somehow drop the plane they’re flying through his telescope]
Taichi: “It’s falling! The plane’s falling!”
Tai: “Oh no! The plane reached the edge of that thing in the sky and just headed straight down!”
On every level: HOW?
Pilot: “We have to make it… somewhere…”
Pilot: “Got to pull out! We’ll break up at this speed! Help me pull!”
I know things are tough right now, but this is no time to worry about your relationship!
[Piyomon evolves to Birdramon and flies up to catch the plane]
Birdramon: “If I can just get there in time..!” *Kuwagamon out of nowhere except the sky continent* “It’s Kuwagamon! Where did he come from?”
I… he came from your butt. Ya’ll need to pay attention.
Birdramon screams her horrible bird-roar after she catches the plane in the dub. She was groaning, but still handling things a lot better in the original.
[The plane has safely made a water landing, thanks to Garudamon and definitely not those two pilots, and Shin calls everyone over to check out the news]
Reporter: “Please take a look! These are not special effects!”
Reporter: “We bring you now: new footage of some truly bizarre scenes. No official explanation has been given for what we are seeing here.”
Well, there were monsters fighting in Tokyo the past week. Why is anybody surprised by any of this?
[Checkin’ out the sky]
Hikari: “Is that where you live, Plotmon?”
Plotmon: “No, that’s no longer the Digimon World we know.”
Kari: “Salamon, is that your world up there?”
Salamon: “I think so, but the last time I was there, it was definitely right side up!”
Unless you were upside-down…
[Koushirou remembers that after a few days in the Real World, several years have passed in the Digital World]
Koromon: “We came here without fixing the distortions in the Digimon World, so something terrible must have happened.”
Koromon: “And since we left the DigiWorld when it was such a mess, it had years and years to just get worse! I can only imagine what the place looks like now!”
You don’t have to imagine; it’s right up there.
[Gotta go back to the Digital World, but how?]
Jou: “When we first went to the Digimon World, our Digivices led us there. That should work again this time!”
Koushirou: “It’s worth a try.”
Joe: “The first time we went to the Digital World, our Digivices led us. You guys try it again.”
Izzy: “You’re coming too, Joe. We’re all in this together!”
Joe: “‘Oops’! I ‘accidentally’ dropped my Digivice in the bay!”
Taichi: “All right. Gather all of your Digivices, everyone.” *Digivices out* “… Please! Take us to the Digimon World again!”
Tai: “All right everybody, hold out your Digivices. We’re going back! Next stop, the Digital World! Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times!”
Nancy: “Should we be stopping this?”
Papa Ishida: “I don’t know anymore.”
[Hey, Natsuko did fruitlessly try to stop them!]
Shin: “Please, everyone! We’ve taken for granted that the morning will come after night, but this time, we don’t know if the night will ever end!”
Jim: “You guys better get cranking, although it’s hard to believe the fate of the world’s in the hands of a bunch of kids like you. I guess if the sun doesn’t come up tomorrow, we’ll know you messed up!”
It was Izzy’s fault.
Mom Izumi: “Don’t say such morbid things! I believe in these children!”
Shin: “Ah, no, I do, too!”
Jou: “It’ll be fine, big brother.”
Izzy’s Mom: “Stop it! You’ve got to have faith in your brother and his friends. What they’re doing is incredibly brave!”
Jim: “Woah, sorry, lady! I didn’t mean anything!”
Joe: “It’s okay; he was only kidding.”
They all hop in the rainbow tube, and Nancy adds, “Take care of each other!” to Matt and T.K.. Natsuko had nothing to add.
Now all the parents are there, and because Nancy had to get the ad-libs started, Sora’s mum throws in, “Sora! I love you, Sora! Please come home soon! I’ll be waiting here for you.” Which, I mean, it’ll only be a few minutes from her perspective, so probably. She doesn’t know that, though.
Then Mommy Kamiya yells to Tai, “Oh, Tai! Be careful!” You have another kid up there, lady. You know – the better one? Mommy Yagami called out to both Taichi and Hikari. Daddy Kamiya yells, “Take care of your sister, son!” Daddy Yagami did not feel that Taichi and his wife needed any reminders.
[The children float up the rainbow tube as their parents watch]
Tai: “I never thought we’d volunteer to leave our families behind. It’s weird. I’m not sure if we’ll ever see them again, but I’m not afraid. It’s like… just knowing that they love us gives us the power that we need.”
Yeah… you should be afraid.
This was another well-done episode. No cuts and no major script deviations – just a lot of added dialogue that didn’t really serve any purpose. I give it an A-, for “aim for the crotch, not above it!”
Get ready for the final and darkest arc of Digimon Adventure: the Clown Wars. That’s not what it’s called, but there are clowns. One clown. Mostly that one.