The Fairy! Piccolomon (JP)
The Piximon Cometh (EN)
JP: Atsushi MAEKAWA
EN: Mark Ryan and Sean Abley
JP: July 4, 1999
EN: October 7, 1999
So the desert wandering continued, and do they even know where they’re going? They haven’t actually referenced the fact that Jennai sent them a map in a while, and that’s even assuming Izzy charged his laptop. Knowing him, he probably has one of those proprietary chargers that doesn’t actually go to anything. Anyway, they stop for a secret desert meeting, and they don’t invite Tai because he’s always falling into sandpits when they’re trying to talk about something impor– SEE? He’s at it again! GET OUT OF THE PIT, TAI! IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
Anyway, Piximon comes along and he’s all like, “Hey, you guys want to check out my house?” And they’re like, “Yeah, we haven’t seen a house in a while,” so they go to his house, which is like 90% stairs. He offers to train them, but it turns out he meant he’d train them to be domestic servants, because all he teaches them to do is scrub floors, wash dishes, dig out the Crests that were plugging up his septic tank, and get lost in caves, where Tai gets stuck in OH COME ON. ANOTHER pit, Tai?!?
In that pit, Tai suffers from oxygen deprivation and hallucinates that he taught himself to ride a bike (he did not actually ever learn and cannot, to this day, ride anything with fewer or greater than three wheels). Then Agumon is like, “If this jackass can ride a bike, I can do anything!” and Tai is like “What?” and Agumon is like “What?” Then they take a boat out of the pit, and they find their friends fending off a very persistent door-to-door fireball salesmon, so Agumon evolves into Greymon and suplexes him to death. He pulled out all the underground cables in the process, knocking out internet, television, AND landline phone service for the entire neighborhood, so Piximon kicks them out of his home before someone calls the police.
Taichi: “What nice weather!”
Agumon: “The wind feels great, eh?”
Tai: “Okay, I admit a little breeze would be nice, but it’s still a beautiful day! Don’t you think?”
Agumon: “Yeah, maybe for a scorpion!”
[Mimi’s holding up her Tag+Crest]
Mimi: “I got a Crest, but…”
Jou: “We still don’t know how to use them, though…”
Sora: “We were told to ‘give a proper upbringing’, right?”
Mimi: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Joe?”
Joe: “Yeah, maybe for a scorpion.”
Mimi: “And every Crest we’ve found so far has been different!”
Joe: “Yeah, but… we need to learn how to use them…”
Sora: “Or else our Digimon could Digivolve all messed up, right?”
Nobody said Digiparenthood would be easy!
[The rest of the team is having a huddle while Taichi not-team-players ahead]
Taichi: “Hey! What are you doing?”
Tai: “”Hmm… what are they doing back there?”
Listed because Tai sounds paranoid, as if he thinks they’re all plotting against him. He’s definitely the one they’re going to eat first – him and the dinosaur he so kindly fattened up for them!
Agumon: “Hurry up, hurry up!”
Taichi: “You’ll get left behind!”
Takeru: “We’re having a really important conference about the Digimon right now! We’ll be there soon, so just wait a bit, okay?”
Tai: “Hey, we gotta move on! If we’re gonna take some downtime, we need to find some shade!”
T.K.: “Aw, thanks, Tai! We were right in the middle of a serious Digi-conversation about the Crests and everything, and then you made me forget what I was saying!”
We were talking about doing a roast or a broil for Agumon, and you wanted to fry them both. Continue, please.
T.K.: “You be in charge of finding the shade! We’ll catch up.”
I’ve got a nice beer batter recipe we could use…
[Kuwagamon out of nowhere!]
Taichi: “What the–??”
Everyone else: *gawks*
T.K.: “What happened?”
Joe: “Something grabbed them from underneath!”
NO! OUR DINNER!!
Matt kindly reminds us, “It’s Kuwagamon!”
I’m not a fan of the whole “there’s a break in the action and we need to advance the story, so let’s throw in a monster attack” strategy, but I do like the use of Kuwagamon as an antlion! Even a stag beetle can have a part-time job!
Koushirou: “It’s Kuwagamon!”
Izzy: “Is that the same one?! Really?!”
Izzy, you JUST saw multiple Numemon not too long ago, and before that, a second Greymon. You think a Kuwagamon stalked you all the way across the ocean?!
… it did. You should file a restraining order.
Narrator: “Kuwagamon: the pincers on his head can slice through anything with his special attack, Scissor Arms. He’s twice as strong as the one on File Island!”
Palmon: “It’s Kuwagamon, all right; there’s no mistaking that ugly face!” [HEY!] “But he’s sure bigger than he was the last time…”
No need to get personal, Palmon!
Yes, it’s a different Kuwagamon in the original. Don’t actually file a police report.
Taichi: “If… if there’s a mistake when he evolves…”
Agumon: “If I don’t become Greymon…”
Tai: “All right… all right… rethinking our training program here… Oh, man, I hope Agumon doesn’t freak out.”
Agumon: “What if something’s wrong with me? What if I can’t become Greymon?”
Way to go, Tai – you made Agumon doubt his identity and self-worth. That’s the opposite of a proper upbringing!
[Agumon freezes up and Taichi runs towards him]
Tai: “Agumon, stay away from his choppers!”
You can’t afford a motorcycle, Agumon! Go for a cheaper angst!
Gomamon: “What are you doing?? You’ll die if he cuts you with his Scissor Arms!”
Gomamon: “Ah, move, Agumon! Move! Move! Do something! Get back!”
Agumon! You’ve got to get over here and hide in this slow-cooker!
Piccolomon –> Pixiemon
Piccolomon: Bit Bomb –> “Pixie Bomb, Seek and Destroy”
Piccolomon’s verbal tic in the original was going “pi pi pi” with his high-voiced voice. In the dub, he just has a… uh… nasally voice. It’s not high-pitched, but they tried to make him sound like
me a fluffy, winged elf ball.
When he walks along, he just goes “pi pi pi”, which the dub changes to him singing a little march to himself.
Just Piccolomon’s “pi pi pi pi”
Mimi: “A powderpuff with wings!”
Damnit, that’s a way better description than mine…
Sora: “Looks like you’re okay.”
Sora: “Just don’t use it on your face!”
[Where Kuwagamon is at?]
Takeru: “Whats that? Weird guy…” (Piccolomon)
T.K.: “Oh, man! Maybe that’s him!”
Mon, he’s really slimmed down… and rounded out… and fluffed up… wait a second….
Piccolomon: “You amateurs!”
Piximon: “Ha! I am no enemy! Nope, if anything, you are your OWN enemies!”
Not me. I’m awesome.
Mimi: “You are?”
Narrator: “Piccolomon: a Fairy Digimon who wields his beloved spear, Fairy Tale, and uses mysterious magic.”
Biyomon: “Piximon is famous in the Digital World for his skills in training, but few have ever met him!”
… wait, then how is he famous?
Piyomon: “The one who defeated Kuwagamon must have been Piccolomon!”
Biyomon: “His secret home is the training ground for all the great Digimon fighters!”
SECRET, Biyomon! It was supposed to be a SECRET!
Piccolomon: “Pi pi pi! You saw my magic, didn’t you? You’re supposed to be the Chosen Children, aren’t you? I couldn’t stand to see you acting so dangerously. If you’re going to be like that, you having the Tags and Crests is a waste of treasure!”
Mimi: “This Digimon isn’t cute.”
Piximon: “And I’ve heard all about you, too, but so far, I am not impressed! You seven are supposed to be the DigiDestined. HA! You’d better be more careful, or you’ll end up Digi-dinners! Yep yep! Without my spears and my magic, Kuwagamon would be eating you and a side of Digi-fries!”
Mimi: “That’s gross! Thanks a lot!”
That was the plan.
[Piccolomon’s pep-talk had little pep effect]
Yamato: “‘Pi-pi-pi-pi’… this guy is noisy, eh?”
Matt: “This guy reminds me of a gym teacher I once had…”
Ah, yes, Mrs. Pix E. Mong. Always yelling at my children/pets/chosen partner!
Palmon: “I hate exertion…”
Palmon: “He’s right; we just don’t have any guts…”
Hey! Speak for yourself, Palmon!
Gomamon: “I don’t even have any guts…”
Gomamon: “Don’t we get points for enthusiasm?”
[Piccolomon is taking them all for training!]
Tentomon: “Whadya mean by that?”
Tentomon: “Let’s not go overboard, Piximon!”
Yeah, we don’t even know if there will be any ravenous beasts or episode reviewers there to eat everyo– I MEAN….
Jou: “Can we trust that Digimon?”
Joe: “I have a question: can we trust a ping-pong ball with wings?”
Powderpuff! He’s a powderpuff with wings!
Yamato: “How is he, Gabumon?”
Gabumon: “He’s kind of annoying, but he’s not a bad Digimon.”
Palmon: “I didn’t see a black gear or a cable on him, either.”
Tai: “But he did save Agumon and me. Why would he do that if he’s no good?” [so he can eat you himself, duh]
Izzy: “Precisely! He didn’t have a black gear anywhere on him – I checked!”
I mean, it was easy because he’s smaller than a black gear, but yeah. Cool.
Sora: “It’s fine, right? The truth is we don’t know how to properly raise our Digimon. If everyone thinks of it as training camp, it’ll be fun!”
Mimi: “Maybe it’ll be more laid back than walking around.”
Joe: “What do you say, Biyomon? After all, you seem to know a lot about him.”
Biyomon: “Well, it’s an honor to be chosen for training by Piximon.”
Mimi: “Sounds like a lot of work to me.”
Sora: “He’s right, though. We could use some help.”
Tai: “How can you say that? Just cuz we’ve nearly been EATEN a hundred times!”
Yamato: “What do you think, Taichi?”
Taichi: “Let’s go. It sounds interesting!”
Takeru: “Then it’s decided!”
All: *agreement cheer*
WTF What’s taking so long?! Hurry up!!”
Matt: “Well, there are worse options. I mean, do we have a choice? All in favor, say ‘aye’.”
WTF Would you all just hurry up?!”
[Just a little further]
Palmon: “‘A little further, a little further,‘ that’s what you’ve been saying!”
Joe: “That’s about the seventh time you said that.”
Matt: “I think he’s lost!”
Tai: “So what do we do? Ask a cactus for directions?”
Sora: “Ice cream… cold root bee–“
All: “STOP THAT!”
For real! Drama queen.
So the opening of the secret Piccolomon hidey hole is weird. In the original, Piccolomon uses a spell/chant/whatever. It’s not Japanese, and I don’t think it’s meant to be a language, but who knows? In the dub, he does some kind of Woody Woodpecker laugh, which also works as a portal-opening incantation. Try it sometime.
[Magic desert portal!]
Piccolomon: “Nothing to be afraid of! It’s inside my barrier. Now, follow me!”
Mimi: “It’s a hole in the desert!”
Joe: “Am I the only who thinks this looks like trouble?”
Go in the hole, Joe.
Piximon: “Actually, it’s just my front door. Come on in, now. Quickly! Before it closes! Yep yep!”
I don’t know. This group doesn’t do well with doors…
[It’s a jungle out ther– er, in there]
No dialogue until Takeru’s line.
Takeru: “It’s a jungle!”
Tai: “Cool, a jungle inside a desert!”
T.K.: “I bet you got lots of friends who wanna play with ya!”
Piximon: “You should have seen it when I first got it!”
Etemon’s trailer honking at NO ONE. AGAIN.
Mimi: “Oh no! It’s Etemon and his trailer!”
They haven’t actually seen Etemon’s trailer… which is a shame, because it is glorious.
Jou: “What is it now?!”
Piccolomon: “That’s Etemon’s trailer.”
Joe: “Oh, boy, this is bad!”
Piximon: “And right outside the front door he is, too!”
Piximon, don’t do the Yoda thing. Please.
[at Piccolomon’s place]
Piccolomon: “My house is up here.”
Piximon: “All right, everybody. Home, we are!”
What did I just say?
Piximon: “My house is just up these steps.”
[so many stairs]
Mimi: “What is this?! I don’t believe it!”
Koushirou: “We have to climb this?”
Takeru: “How many are there?”
Yamato: “There’s no use counting them.”
Mimi: “But I didn’t bring my stair-climbing sneakers!”
Tai: “Yeah, and I just remembered: I’m afraid of heights!”
Izzy: “Purely from a logical standpoint, it doesn’t look very safe.”
It’s fine, Izzy. Piximon totally had a permit to build those stairs! See, there are hand-rail–er, rocks…
Tentomon: “Hehe… this’ll be a breeze! After all, I can–“ [nope]
Tentomon: “Hey, no sweat! I’ll just fly up there, and before you know it, I’ll be chillin’ by the pool while you guys are still-” [nope]
He did NOT have a permit to build the pool, however. Don’t go in there!
Piccolomon: “Stop complaining and start climbing!”
Piximon: “Haven’t you rookies learned that the easy way is sometimes a trap?”
The hard way is sometimes also a trap!
Piximon: “Now, let’s move out!”
Joe: “I guess Piximon never heard of elevators.”
Oh, he’s heard of them. He just doesn’t care.
In the original, Jou comments that Piccolomon’s house looks creepy, because he’s a RUDE GUEST. In the dub, he just derisively asks, “that’s his place?” because he’s also a RUDE GUEST. Jeez!
[I completely forgot that Piccolomon has a giant statue of himself. It is absolutely wonderful.]
Piximon: “Why thank you! Is it as handsome as I am?”
No– I mean, yes! I mean, I don’t think you’re handsome– oh gosh oh jeez…
Piximon does the weird laugh thing again where Piccolomon does the weird chant thing.
Not really a deviation: the dialogue in the floor-scrubbing scene is given to different characters, but it’s pretty much the same save for Izzy’s extra-dickish, “It’s a simple task, Mimi. Even you’ll catch on!”
T.K. making “vroom vroom” noises when he races Tokomon in the dub is adorable!
When their Tags are glowing, Izzy says “Prodigious”, which is still annoying and I hope he dies slowly and painfully.
[Taichi rocked the boat in the pit in the cave Piximon made him go into, and he fell out]
Agumon: “What are you doing?”
Taichi: “Oh, be quiet… Is this our training?”
Agumon: “Don’t you know not to stand up in a boat? Here, grab this.”
You were all standing in a boat last episode! I mean, yeah, it was a bigger boat, but still!
When asking where Izzy went off to (Crest Quest), dub Tentomon calls Piximon “Pikamon”. That’s a different show, Tentomon, and WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT.
[Koushirou wants a Crest for STUPID reasons. What about Yamato?]
Yamato: “I… I want to improve myself more.”
Matt: “I want to use the Crest to Digivolve ME.”
That is not how it works, Matt. Have you been talking to Tai?
(Yamato’s reasoning is essentially the same.)
[Let’s go outside the safe area!]
Izzy: “I know, but we’re so close!” *sticks his hands through the barrier* ” … Hope my hand doesn’t melt!”
It’s just a desert, drama queen.
There’s more pretty mystical Crest music when they’re in the well in the original. In the dub, it’s the slow dramatic garbage (as opposed to the “we’re all going to die right now” dramatic garbage).
For whatever reason, area K-1 is changed to G-3 for the dub.
[Inside Etemon’s trailer, they’ve located some wayward Children]
Etemon: “The K-1 area is Tyranomon’s territory, right? All right, I’ll show them!”
Etemon: “Hahaha! G-3’s Tyrannomon’s territory! Send him at once! I love a roadie with a good appetite!”
Narrator: “Tyranomon: a Dinosaur Digimon adapted to surviving in the wild. Its special attack is the scorching flame, Fire Breath.”
Tyrannomon himself?: “Tyrannomon: a huge Digimon with fire breath strong enough to cook a couple of boys like you!”
Finally! I’m starving!
In the original, when it cuts to Piccolomon swinging his spear, he just straight-up smacked Gabumon for NO reason and then walked along quietly like nothing happened. What a jerk!
In the dub, the smacking sound effect is left out, and Piximon covers up his silent crime by saying, “No, Gabumon, making funny faces will not defeat your enemies!” without moving his mouth.
[Tyrannomon attacks. Run away!]
Koushirou: “W-wait for me, please, Yamato!”
Yamato: “Come on, Koushirou!”
Izzy: “Didn’t I see this guy in one of my nightmares?”
Matt: “I wish you’d be more careful what you dream!”
Yeah, Izzy! Your dreams suck!
[The others catch up to them]
Tentomon: “That’s exactly what you get for leavin’ me behind!”
Tentomon: “Thank goodness you’re safe!”
[Etemon gets in on the action]
Etemon: “Here we go! Love Serenade!”
Etemon: “Here’s a little song I call, ‘Bye-Bye Digimon, Bye-Bye!”
Ugh. Easily the worst song from his third album. He was going through a phase!
Love Serenade plays in the background of the original, as it often does when Etemon attacks. They don’t bring back the rock jam he got last episode in the dub, though.
Ready for another extraction? Back in the boat, the original music is the first part of Maurice Ravel’s Boléro, a song we’ll hear several times during the course of the show. Have a listen:
Everything’s fine in this boat!
The dub music is… uh… spinny. Probably because they’re spinning in the boat. Kinda made me sick a little.
Nothing is fine in this boat
Boléro is public domain in many countries, but not in the US until 2025. To avoid copyright issues, I’m not putting the full song or linking to it here. If you live in the EU, Canada, China, New Zealand, South Africa, or any other country in which the copyright term is 70 years after the creator’s death (1937) or shorter, you should be able to find it fairly easily online.
[They just helped young, flashback Taichi ride his bike off into the white oblivion. There was a sinkhole over there. He’s probably fine.]
Agumon: “If the two of us combine our power, I feel like I’ll be able to evolve again!”
Agumon: “Greymon, my friend, I’m coming back to ya!”
In the original, we can hear the Children screaming as Taichi and Agumon row their way back to the entrance of wherever the Myotismon’s Dungeon they were. The music finally switches from Boléro to Brave Heart when Agumon evolves.
And in the dub, after Tai realizes that he WAY overslept in that boat, they moved a shot of Tyrannomon spitting fire at the kids, then Piximon blocking the attacks to before Agumon evolves. Then it fades to black for commercial, and the scenes are replayed in reverse order. So then it goes: Piximon orders, “Everyone, stand back!”, then Tyrannomon goes *ptooey ptooey*, then Tai orders Agumon to Digivolve. Then Agumon does that. In the original, those scenes (only in *ptooey*-Piccolomon order) played in the middle of Agumon’s evolution.
[Greymon out of nowhere– wait, we know where he came from…]
Gabumon: “It’s Greymon!”
Tokomon: “Agumon was able to evolve!”
Gabumon: “Hey, he Digivolved!”
Tokomon: “Yay! Yay! Yay!”
Listed because that was weird and kind of cute.
[Greymon is straight-up about to suplex Tyranomon]
Sora: “Greymon’s pulling the cables out!”
No, you fool! It’ll take hours for the telecom company to plug those back in, for some reason!
So, Greymon suplexes Tyranomon. In the original, it looks and sounds awesome because Brave Heart is playing, and that’s always a good time. In the dub, there’s a lot of grunting from Greymon, and it kind of sounds like he’s giving himself a hernia.
[Tyranomon’s suplexation has been completed]
Tai: “He did it! Greymon did it!”
Sora: “Look at the black cables all shattering into pieces!”
Then Greymon roars, the sound of which does not alleviate any concerns about a possible hernia. You all might want to get him to a doctor.
[Etemon isn’t as thrilled about the outcome of the battle]
Etemon: “EeeeEEEeeeEEE THOSE BRATS REALLY PISS ME OFF!” *screech*
Etemon: “Those rotten kids beat me again! Aww, I gotta find somethin’ easier to beat, like some cardboard boxes, or somethin’!”
Hey, don’t underestimate cardboard boxes. They have some tricks up their sheets!
[Bye, Piximon. You have a lovely home. Get that pool up to code.]
Taichi: “Truly, thank you.”
Agumon: “Thank you for taking care of us.”
Matt: “Thank you, Piximon. We’ve learned a lot from you!”
Joe: “Yeah, like how to scrub floors and starve half to death!”
The greatest lesson of all.
Mimi: “Joe! That’s just Joe’s stomach talking.”
He’s not wrong, though.
Piccolomon: “Your training doesn’t end here.”
Piximon: “Far from over, your training is.”
What did I tell you about that Yoda shit? Box up your stuff and turn in your badge. You’re fired.
[Piccolomon watches them walk away]
Piccolomon: “You are the only ones who can save this world. Good luck, Chosen Children.”
Piximon: “They truly are the Digidestined! Yep yep! No doubt have I! Though they are sometimes foolish, I have seen the love in their hear–“
GET OUT OF HERE
Piximon is the worst. This was a rough one! Most dialogue changes are still pretty in-character and get the idea across, but Piximon’s Yoda nonsense is unforgivable. He’s definitely not getting severance pay. I give it an F, for “funny”, which THAT YODA SHIT NEVER IS.