Etemon! Stage Entrance of Evil (JP)
The Dark Network of Etemon (EN)
Original Writer: Satoru Nishizono
Dub Writers: Michael McConnohie, Jeff Nimoy, and Bob Buchholz
13 June 1999 (JP)
4 October 1999 (EN)
So it turned out the old man just wanted them to come over and fix his computer, so they summoned a rideshare to go to Server, but Izzy picked the “whale” option by accident and Whamon was their ride. So Whamon was going to take them to Server, but they stopped at the convenience store along the way to buy some tags. The Drimogemon working the till did NOT appreciate them coming in RIGHT at closing time and left for the end of the shift without doing any of the closing tasks, but who can blame ’em? Schönen Feierabend, bitches!
So they finally got to Server, and their fare was ridiculous because they added a stop on the route, and they acted all nice to Whamon but only gave him a 4-star rating and no tip. Then they went to the Koromon Village and they were like, “hey, these Koromon look weird,” and the Koromon were like, “we’re not Koromon” and gave them food. Then Etemon came to town to play a concert, but Tai was being a total downer, so they all had to leave. They went into a cave and Tai stole the wall. Now they’re outside again.
Taichi: “Oh, that’s Server continent, isn’t it?”
Tai: “Hey, I think I see an iceberg! Either that, or it could be the continent of Server.”
Whamon: “… it’s Server.”
I don’t know if Whamon’s sass is intentional, but I enjoy it.
Yamato: “What’s with the noise?”
Jou: “What about Thai food?” [“continent” is tairiku 「大陸」, Jou mistook it for tairyouri 「タイ料理」, which is “Thai cooking” or “Thai food” – much tastier than continents]
Matt: *yawn* “I was only resting my eyes!”
Joe: “Well, your eyes were snoring pretty loudly!”
Ha! Matt has gross eyes.
Koushirou: “We’ve finally arrived!”
Takeru: “Yay! We’ve arrived!”
Izzy: “Well, I’m ready for land again!”
T.K.: “I’d sure like a bed that didn’t move!”
Come to think of it, they have had some pretty bad luck with beds in that regard. The trolley got dragged by Seadramon, the first actual beds they found turned out to be floating beds of death, and now Whamon has to double as a bed while they die of exposure on the open seas. That is rough!
[Agumon comments on what a huge island it is]
Piyomon: “Not an island, a continent!”
Tentomon: “This is my first time seeing such a huge land!”
Biyomon: “I’ve never seen an island so big!”
Tentomon: “It’s not an island; it’s the continent of Server.”
Listed because Tentomon is clearly spending too much time around Izzy.
[Having her sleep disturbed by Palmon to look at the continent (“tairiku”)]
Mimi: “I’d rather have cake than Thai food…”
Mimi: “I’m getting a pedicure…”
Then Palmon goes, “Aw, Mimi…” (in both versions) and everyone laughs. Silly Mimi, you can’t eat a pedicure!
The dub adds a line by T.K. announcing, “Server, here we come!” as they approach the shore.
Mimi: “Why do we have to get off here?! Aren’t there more places?!”
Koushirou: “There actually is an easier place not far from here.”
Jou: “That’s why we discussed it and decided to land here. You were sleeping, though.”
Mimi: “Don’t decide important things like that without me!” *Whamon launches her* “No more!”
Mimi: “Uh, this is a little too ‘extreme sports’ for me! Is there someway I can be air-lifted onto the island?”
Izzy: “Sorry we can’t just move the continent for you, Mimi. Now, according to the map, this is the best beach to come ashore!”
Joe: “Just put one foot in front of the other and you’ll be fine! Really! It’s as easy as falling off a log, Mimi!” [Whamon: “WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!]
Mimi: “Yeah? Well, I’ve fallen off plenty of logs, and believe me, it’s not as easy as it loo-” *launch* “I think I broke a nail.”
Sorry, Mimi. Maybe if SOMEBODY didn’t forget to bring the helicopter, air-lifting wouldn’t be out of the question!
Jou: “We’ve come to a continent…”
Gomamon: “Really, what’s with stating the obvious?”
Sora: “This place is bigger than I thought.”
Izzy: “It’s simple physics; the universe is expanding!”
Izzy, I am going to drown you in your own face. How’s that for “simple physics”?
Jou: “I mean, now that we’re here, it’s just completely different.”
Mimi: “I thought when we got to land, I’d be able to take a bath…”
Palmon: “When we get to the village, you can take one.”
Mimi: “When will we get there? What hour, what minute, what second?”
Joe: “I think my feet are expanding.” [ew] “We have been walking all day long, and there’s no sign of the village yet.”
Mimi: “Oh, I’d give anything to be in a nice, clean bathtub with lots of bubblebath in it!”
Palmon: “You can do that once we get to the village.”
Mimi: “You honestly think they have bathtubs, Palmon?!”
Palmon: “… well…” [“Define ‘bathtubs’…”]
Then Agumon says he smells Koromon. Does not bode well for the ‘bathtub’ hypothesis.
Tai: “Almost there!”
The music when they arrive at the Koromon village in the original is really happy and cute, perfectly befitting how freaking adorable the village is (LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE HUTS).
The music in the dub is… something. It’s makes it sounds like the village is haunted. No, I don’t know how; it just does. You know I’m bad at describing music. DON’T JUDGE ME.
[Mimi runs into the village]
Mimi: “Bath, bath, bath! Hey, where is/are the bath[s]?”
Mimi: “A baaath! Somebody grab me a rubber duck! Excuse me, where’s the shampoo?”
Hurry! The rubber duck is crucial!
[Mimi encounters the ‘Koromon’]
Mimi: “Huh? Were Koromon always like this?”
Mimi: “Palmon, do you really think that these are Koromon?”
Listed because I like the original line, because thinking “wait, did they always look like that?” is totally something I would do. I love Mimi. X3
Narrator: “Pagumon: loves to bully weaker Digimon and make fools of opponents. Child Digimon.”
Tentomon: “Hmm, Pagumon. There are more to them than meets the eye…”
Super helpful, Tentomon.
Jou: “So this wasn’t the Koromon village?”
Gomamon: “Looks that way!”
Jou: “Don’t let ’em get away!”
Gomamon: “Around that corner!”
[Sora finds and inspects Mimi’s hat as they pursue her escorts.]
Sora: “It’s definitely Mimi’s.”
Sora: “… there’s the price tag. It’s Mimi’s.”
Might as well pull it off; I’m pretty sure she can’t return it now…
Jou: “Hey, isn’t that Mimi’s bag?”
Koushirou: “That’s right! There’s no doubt it’s hers!”
Joe: “That’s Mimi’s purse; she never goes anywhere without it!”
Izzy: “Logically, that could mean only one thing…”
… she got a NEW purse!
Izzy: “… she’s missing!”
[Taichi and Koushirou locate Mimi… in exactly where she intended to be]
Mimi: “Aah! What are you doing?! A lady is bathing here!”
Taichi: “No, it’s not that–!” *death by bucket*
Mimi: “Aah! Haven’t you two ever heard the phrase ‘Please knock before entering’?!”
Tai: “Mimi, we’re here to rescue you!” *death by bedpan*
I love how, in both versions, they’re gawking at… nothing. The side of the bath is high enough that they can’t see anything! All they saw was a naked leg. They’re both wearing shorts; they both have half-naked legs!
Sora: “That’s why I said not to…”
Sora: “I believe I said, ‘Don’t go in.'”
Don’t fuck with Sora!
Of course the song the Pagumon sing is changed, but you can’t hear most of it under the talking anyway, so eh.
[The Pagumon feed them]
Pagumon: “Here you go!”
Pagumon: “Here’s your pupu platter!”
I know that’s not a pupu platter, but I understand. If you have a chance to write “pupu platter” into the script, you take it.
I can’t hear what Mimi says over the Pagumon’s singing, but she’s referencing Otohime, a Japanese folklore princess, and mixing the story up. Jou corrects her by saying she means Urashima (the protagonist of the same story).
Mimi: “I feel just like a princess in a big, beautiful palace!”
Joe: “I once had a chihuahua named ‘Princess’…”
There was no chihuahua. “Princess” was Joe’s nickname. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Joe.
Sora: “You don’t think these [the food] are fake, do you?”
Taichi: “Doesn’t matter, I’m eating!”
Sora: “Listen, Tai, you don’t suppose this could be some kind of trick…”
Tai: “Course not! You think I don’t know a good Digimon from a bad one??”
Yeah, Sora. Nothing could possibly go wrong!
Hey, Piyomon, you’ve got a little something on yo– OH COD
(this is an animation error, so it’s in both versions)
Poyomon: “Poyooo…” *bam Tokomon!*
Poyomon: “Poyomon Digivolve to Tokomon!” *bam*
[That night, the newly evolved Tokomon is kidnapped by the Pagumon]
Tokomon: *crying like a baby*
Tokomon: “I want my Digi-mommy!”
That would be T.K…. or Elecmon… Huh…
(0:02) There’s a short cut of the Pagumon answering, “because you evolved” to Tokomon asking why they’re being a-holes as they’re being a-holes. After he asks, “Aren’t you nice Digimon?!”, then it picks back up.
Narrator: “Gazimon: they’re violent and aggressive. Their special attack, Paralyze Breath, is a ball of electricity that paralyzes opponents.”
Tokomon: “Look, those are Gazimon! On the evil scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being ‘bad’ — these Digimon are 12!”
… wait, so it’s a scale measuring evil, or the scale itself is evil…?
[They tie him up with ropes]
Pagumon: “Stay quiet in here.”
Pagumon: “Yeah, stay quiet!”
Pagumon: “You’re not so special now, are ya?”
Pagumon: “Yeah! You’re not so special now!”
Well, he is the only one with ropes, so he’s kind of special…
[Some Gazimon look upon them]
Gazimon (1): “I can’t believe the Chosen Children came to this place.”
Gazimon (2): “I’ll go notify Lord Etemon. You take care of the rest!”
Gazimon (both of the other two): “Right.”
Gazimon (1): “One of us has to tell Etemon that the DigiDestined humans are here.”
Gazimon (2): “I’ll go. I gotta ask him for time off for a haircut anyway!”
Gazimon (both of the other two): “… Huh?”
A rare example of an improvement from the original. A+
Gazimon (1): “You lot, definitely don’t let the Children getaway!”
Gazimon: “Keep an eye on those kids, or Etemon will make Digi-stew out of you!”
Pagumon: (completely unfazed) “Right!”
Huh. I guess Digi-stew is a non-threatening thing to be. Or maybe they thought he said he’ll “make Digi-stew for you”? Hey, Gazimon, can you clarif– oh, he’s gone.
Is it just me, or are the Gazimon adorable? They look so scruffy and fluffy. I want to mush their faces.
Etemon is finally introduced! His entrance in the dub, despite the light show and fog machines, is pretty dull. They didn’t change the music for his appearance, so it’s nothing special compared to the original.
In the original, the opening of the trailer is joined by an electric guitar melody reminiscent of… uh… old rock music. Folky rock. Elvis-y stuff.
I don’t know, mon — it’s a guitar! I’m not a music scientist! What do you want from me?!
Etemon himself is adapted valiantly! His goofy Western rockstar persona becomes a goofy Elvis-impersonator persona (“impersona”?), which is a sadly forgotten relic of the past. It’s pretty awesome.
Etemon: “Yeah yeah! The greatest in the world, that’s me — Etemon!”
Etemon: “Yeah, the culture sensation of the Server continent is back! All right, it’s Etemon, the king!”
He never left (and thank cod for that).
Narrator: “Etemon: the self-proclaimed greatest Digimon. His two special attacks, Love Serenade and Dark Spirits, are fitting of the proclamation.”
Tentomon: “There is nothing entertaining about Etemon.”
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH
Tentomon: “He has the power to control anything electronic through his Dark Network.”
Tentomon, get out of here! Nobody asked you!
Etemon: “SHUT UP! Be quiet! According to my intel, the Chosen Children will be landing here soon. Then, I’ll go take care of them. Ooh, what a NICE plan! If you’re too loud, the children will hear you!”
Gazimon: “The children aren’t coming. I’m here to tell you the Chosen Children are at the Pagumon Village.”
Etemon: “What did you say?! How can that be?! How? HOW?!”
Gazimon: “That’s not our latest intel.”
Etemon: “Now let’s get somethin’ straight, sonny-boy. I’m the monarch of rock ‘n’ roll; your job is to make me happy! The humans will be here soon! You see, now, once I start makin’ my fabulous music, well, those kids are gonna be mine! They’ll just have to come over ‘n’ see what great star is singing like that!”
Gazimon: “There’s just one thing wrong.”
Gazimon: “Just that those seven kids are already here. They’ve been at the Pagumon village since yesterday.”
Etemon: “What?! Just what are you sayin’? I had it all worked out, kid! My whole plan’s flawless!”
Gazimon: “Well, somebody forgot to tell those humans.”
Well, that’s somebody’s getting sack– ah, crap. That was my job, wasn’t it?
Gazimon: “Is this rig all you’re bringing?”
Etemon: “I’m more than enough for the Chosen Children on my own!”
Gazimon: “This will be your greatest performance yet, boss!”
Etemon: “It’s not easy being a superstar, little buddy, but someone’s gotta do it! *elvis chuckle*”
…. come on, you know what the Elvis chuckle is! That “ah-hoh-huh” thing! Look, I’m just going to call it “elvis chuckle”. It’s that or turning “elvis” into a verb, and I don’t think anyone wants that.
[The Chosen Children realize Tokomon is missing]
Mimi: “How can he cause so much trouble? I wish he wouldn’t.”
Gomamon: “Who do you think was doing just that until now?”
Mimi: “Hm. Jou-senpai.”
Jou: “It was you! YOU!”
Mimi: “Hmm. Can we hurry this up? I’m scheduled for a mud-pack and a facial in half and hour!”
Gomamon: “Tokomon should know better than to interrupt your beauty treatments!”
Mimi: “You’re so right!”
Joe: “He’s being sarcastic.”
He’s not wrong, though. Shame on you, Tokomon!
[Agumon sniffs out the scene]
Agumon: “They’re faint, but there are familiar smells all over the place…”
Agumon: “Something’s definitely wrong; my nose always knows!”
It knows. It just lies sometimes.
[… and he finds Tokomon and some Koromon]
Agumon: “Why is everyone locked up in a place like this?”
Agumon: “Boy, you guys gotta get a bigger apartment! Maybe some place with a few more bedrooms!”
This is no time to joke about the housing market, Agumon!
Tokomon: “They’re big, lying jerks! Hurry and tell everyone!”
Tokomon: “I appreciate chatting as much as the next guy, but if you untie me, we could go warn the others.”
You know, you don’t even really need to untie him. His legs are just little nubs; the ropes aren’t even holding anything down.
[But the Gazimon catch them]
Gazimon: “We’ll take care of you right here!”
Gazimon: “Why don’t we teach the little lizard a lesson?”
So the Gazimon start beating up Agumon, we see Tokomon cry out, and then the episode cuts to the Children standing around looking confused. Nothing was changed, but it’s somehow WAY more sudden in the dub when Izzy starts talking, so it goes from “OH NO VIOLENCE” to “Tokomon’s really VERY small…” and it’s unintentionally kind of funny.
Gazimon: “Paralyzing Breath” –> “Electric Stun Blast”
Tai: “They tricked us!”
Tai: “Never trust anything without feet!”
WHOA! Not cool, Tai!
Gazimon (1): “Give it up!”
Gazimon (2): “This is the end!”
Gazimon (1): “Get ready, lizard!”
Gazimon (2): “Here’s a present for ya!”
More unintentional amusement in the dub when it cuts straight from “Tai, where are you?” to “AGUMOOON!” The Japanese version leaves a beat between scene switching, so the timing is less abrupt and hilarious.
[Agumon has evolved to fight back]
Greymon: “I’ll pay you both back!”
Greymon: “So, you like to fight two against one, eh?”
This is no time to be making conversation, Greymon!
Takeru: “Tokomon! I’m so glad you’re safe!”
Tokomon: “Takeru, I’m sorry to worry you!”
T.K.: “Tokomon, I thought I lost you again!”
Tokomon: “I’m like a boomerang; I keep coming back!”
Tokomon’s voice is adorable in both versions. :3
[Etemon greets them over the speakers]
Jou: “What is that voice?”
Joe: “Oh, great. A Digi-rockstar.”
Wow, Joe’s ears are finely attuned to recognizing rockstars by voice alone. That’s a talent!
In the original, Etemon says “Moshimoshi” over the speaker, the standard greeting over the phone or electronic communication.
In the dub, he says “hello,” then there’s some feedback over the speaker, so it sounds like he’s doing a sound check, which is a great touch! The scene in the original is fine, but the transition of coming down from the battle to Etemon’s projection felt very “neat”. The dub’s handling of it feels natural.
Etemon: “Chosen Children, can you hear me?”
Etemon: “To you measly little DigiDestined humans, <elvis> thank you very much! </elvis> Hello!”
Woooo! We love you, Etemon!! *waves lighter in the air*
In the dub, the Koromon all shout, “It’s Etemon! OH NO!”, and it’s adorable.
Etemon: “My perfectly good intel was ruined because of you! So I’m going to ruin this village!”
Etemon: “You little, bratty kids messed up all my big, beautiful plans, so now I’m gonna have to punish y’all by playing a little number that I just wrote! It’s called ‘Wreckin’ the Whole Place!'”
Wooo! New song!
Etemon: “Dark Network!”
Etemon: “Dark Network Concert Crush!”
The dub adds Etemon’s delightful laughter when the Dark Network is rising up. In the original, he’s just standing there with his mouth wide open like an idiot.
[The Digimon start to evolve]
Etemon: “I won’t let you do that! Love Serenade!” *starts singing*
Etemon: “Well, I see ya want a Digivolution! Guess what: the answer’s NOOOOO~ Dark Network Concert Crush!” *elvis laugh* “Dark Network, yeah, darling! Gotcha!”
I can’t wait to buy this single on cassette!
(Yes, the song Love Serenade is what made them devolve in the original.)
Taichi: “What’s wrong, everyone?”
Tai: “Something strange is going on!”
Tai, everything’s normal. Just enjoy the giant monkey-suit guy and evil cables rock concert.
Returning from commercial, the dub re-uses some footage from Etemon strumming his guitar and rocks/evil balls/evil rock balls splashing water on the kids.
Love Serenade is Etemon’s image song on the Japanese soundtrack, and it plays in the background while he’s attacking.
Agumon: “I-I have no power.”
Tentomon: “That ‘Love Serenade’ drains your fighting power!”
Agumon: “Concert Crush took our power!”
Tentomon: “Does rock and roll have that effect in your world?”
Sora: “… only on our parents.”
Haha, old people!
[Inside the cave of safety and checking out the symbol on the wall.]
Taichi: “What is this symbol?”
Tai: “What do we do now?”
Now you look at the wall, Tai, and think about how you ruined the concert for everyone!
[Taichi acquires the wall. The entire wall]
Jou: “This… this place…”
Joe: “Didn’t there used to be a wall here?”
This is so on-point, because how did they not notice the daylight and fresh air pouring into the safety cave right away?! The whole wall disappeared!
Jou: “Then we’re saved!”
Yamato: “Looks like it.”
Joe: “All right, frequent flyer miles!”
Matt: “This place is the bomb!”
Matt, don’t say “bomb”! You’re going to get us banned and we’ll never get to redeem our miles!
Mimi: “Thank goodness!”
Taichi: “A Crest… This is finally it!”
Mimi: “It’s beautiful!” (the scenery)
Tai: “Hm, with this Crest, we can do anything we want!”
That is not how it works.
Taichi: “With this, we don’t have to be scared of Etemon at all!”
Tai: “You know, guys, I think this is our first step on our trip home!”
Tai, seriously. Whatever you’re thinking: it DOESN’T work that way.
[Back in Etemon’s trailer]
Etemon: “The Chosen Children should be pounded into dust by now.”
Gazimon: “They suddenly showed up.”
Etemon: “Eh?! What did you say?!”
Etemon: “Yes, little buddy. Trappin’ ’em all in that cave was more fun than learnin’ how to lip-sync!”
Gazimon: “Maybe not, boss. They’re missin’!”
Etemon: “How could you lose them?! Let me see.”
Etemon: “To make it over there so quickly… I can’t be off-guard with these Children… but then I’ll take them down.” *non-elvis laugh*
Etemon: “This bunch is a whole lot more clever than I thought they were! I’m gonna have to think about this one. Then defeatin’ those kids is gonna earn me a standin’ ovation!” *elvis laugh*
I refuse to believe Etemon doesn’t receive a standing ovation every time he takes the stage!
One minor, weird cut. Can we get a standing ovation for this episode? … No? Yeah, I understand…